Doubts in My Mind

1. In my current project, I am to work with Mr. D on a proposed luxury apartment on a prestigious part of the city. Many of my colleagues find it challenging to work with him due to various reasons. I shall not dwell on them but just want to highlight a certain statement that he made last Friday during a meeting.
   Mr. D said, "Perspective drawings are just a bunch of b*s* and the trouble is they SELL! Coz the clients like them. In the end nobody really remembers what they saw and we can just do what we want to change everything."
   I was taken aback by what he said in front of the 3-D “renderers” who were hired by our client. To me this statement reflects a lack of professional responsibility and integrity. Immediately I felt inside me a feeling of withdrawal. I don't think I want to be a part of this b*s*.
   In a previous incident on the same project, I felt uneasy not to advise our client of the potential problem that they might get into by specify a certain type of timber flooring which was labor intensive in its installation. Mr. D. shocked me with his seemingly thoughtless statement. “Look, we are on a cost-cutting exercise here. I don’t care how they’re going to lay the timber floor; it’s none of my business. All I care about is that it reflects a reduced cost. The contractor will deal with the problem later, and not me. So just spec the cheaper timber floor that the client’s supplier proposed and get this over with.”
2. I had entered into the world of design with high hopes and aspirations. Studying the works of various masters in Architecture grows in me a desire to emulate them in the kind of devotion they had put into the built environment. However, I begin to doubt the disparity that exists between what I read/learn from various media and what I see in actual practice. The above incidents came as cold reminders of what I have gotten myself into.
   Deep inside me exists a seeker of truth. I have found spiritual truth at a young age of 15 which had given me the anchor and pivot to grow into adulthood with a good proportion of self-esteem and confidence. I live my life according to the truth that I have found and have come to embraced. I expect myself to live a life of integrity in my profession. Working in the office of a world renowned architect, I expect none of the above to have taken place.
3. What is the right thing to do when you are caught in situations such as the above? Should I bring the matters up with his boss, Mr. KY? Am I back-stabbing him if I did? If I didn’t, am I being true to myself? As I look into the situations, perhaps there are still things that I need to learn about the office where I work in. What is the mission of the organization? Mr. D. is a new employee who had just joined us in December last year. Has he brought with him a code of ethics which are not in line with the office mission? Or am I naïve to believe in what I believe as a design student—to reflect integrity and responsibility in design?
4. Ahh, if only Mr. KY was not so short in his temper and was more sensitive to the fragility of the self-esteem of his employees!! There are among us who came to the organization full of ambitions. But after a few incidents of verbal abuse with vulgarity and profanity, one turns into an illusive, cover-your-a* “yes-man”. Yet, Mr. KY expects his people to TAKE CONTROL in consultants meetings when everyday, they only learn how to PLEASE, SUBMIT and KOWTOW to him!
   

Wow, what a negative post.

Hey, people, I am a very positive person inside. Don’t you despair! If I eventually discovered that this profession was not for me, I know I can let it go. What lucky girl I am!

On the whole, I’ve had a great week with my family, church friends and colleagues (minus Mr. D, of course, hehe)!